Corona and Lime
by titansizedpizza
Summary: While Eren was just sitting in his room like usual for a typical Friday night, Mikasa asks a favor of him. This favor leads to him meeting a frustrating man and his intolerably hyped friend. After this first encounter, they always seem to run into each other, enough so that Eren starts growing fond of the man despite his sour attitude.
1. Chapter 1

**_A/N: _****_I just really wanted to write a dorky, semi-paranoid-about-everything Eren okay im sorry. i laughed while writing this so i hope by some god out there you will laugh too? maybe i just have weird humor but idk. Enjoy though! ~  
_**

* * *

_Love is Over_

"No! Fuck! I was so close too!" I have to hold myself back from throwing my controller at the TV screen. This is the tenth fucking time redoing the level and I've just about had it. Before I was going to do something brash and without thought, I was interrupted.

"Hey Eren, I need a favor." Mikasa busted open the door to my room, a look of all seriousness on her face. I would have actually been frightened for my life if it wasn't for the fact that she looks like that all time. I take a deep breath and try to calm my steaming rage.

"Yeah, what is it?" I gave her a look of curiosity, wondering what she could possibly be wanting a favor for. She knows how useless I am with getting shit done on time, prime example is her hounding me with every college essay and application in practically the whole state. Whether or not she actually sent them in is beyond me. I hope not because sending in those papers cost a fuckton of money that I'd rather not have her spend.

"I need you to be my designated driver for Annie and my friends tonight." She deadpanned. Going over the command in my head, I have to wonder, do I even have a choice in the matter? Knowing Mikasa that is most definitely not the case. I mean, I guess I could do it. Whisking the options in a mental mind bowl, I gathered that I would probably feel awful for telling her no because she always does things for me. I guess it's better than sitting here staying in my room, I guess ill go with the option to go out and be social. Hark.

"Okay, but I hope you're cool with me just dropping you off and heading over Armin's to hang out with him and Jean while you do your stuff then." I turn back over to my video game that I was preoccupied with before she came into my room.

"If I call you, I know for a fact you'll have your phone turned off and you'll only remember until two hours past the time you were supposed to be there to pick us up and I'm not having anyone driving drunk or buzzed tonight." Of course she isn't. Mikasa has always been extremely responsible and I can't help but admire her deeply for that. I, on the other hand, am the complete opposite. I won't even get started on the time I let Jean get lost at the amusement park all because I got happy go-lucky and ran off for dip n' dots ice cream that literally weren't sold anywhere else but there at the time. I can't say I regret it though.

"So… what do you mean by that?" I look back over to her sighing heavily and pulling her black scarf up higher around her neck.

"I know you hate being forced to sit somewhere but this is the only way I know you'll be there on time." Oddly accurate, I do give her that. "So when you drive us, I would appreciate if you just stay there. It's an eighteen and older bar. You're more than welcome to bring Armin and Jean or whatever you want with us." She adjusted her stance and put more weight on her other foot.

"Yeah, you're right I do hate that but if it's for you to have fun tonight, I suppose I'll do it. And nah, I'll let Armin and Jean have their romantic evening. Don't wanna become the cockblock wasn't pretty the last time." I shudder and give her a small smile on my face to show my resolution to help her out. She's always working her ass off with her classes, always to get the highest grade and has the best workly performance every week with her job at some high-end office. Not really sure what it is - she lost me when she began spouting off a whole bunch of numbers for that one accounting paper. But the point stands that she still needs time off once in awhile.

"Thank you so much, Eren. Really, it means a lot." She graced her face with a beautiful grin and it completely warmed my heart. It's definitely worth it if it makes her happy like that. Look at me, I'm becoming such a sap.

"Yeah yeah." I waved her off and turned back around to fiddle with more fucking blocks. Damn this fucking game and the double Catherine's. Or is it Katherines with a K? Ah, fuck it I think it's both but I suck at it nonetheless.

I heard her rush up to me and give me an awkward back-hug for just a second, let go, and went dashing out of the door to finish getting ready.

After getting momentarily distracted and moving the wrong block and making me accidentally fall off the edge and die, I've had the last of it for the night and huffed. If I keep going at this I'll seriously break the TV. I leaned back in my little bean bag on the floor and began to think of my options. Do I want food in the amount of time I have to get ready before Mikasa has to leave? But then if she walks in the kitchen and finds me stuffing my face with leftover cheesecake instead of changing into different clothing she's probably going to do something very, very violent to me.

Since it's a bar I figured I should probably change into something more presentable than my white t-shirt and light colored jeans and i'd honestly hate to look like the idiot of the group, but in this case I probably already am since Mikasa pretty much only hangs with rather intelligent people.

I get up and turn off the console and make my way over the closet to pull out something "nice" or as nice as I can manage. I decide on a nice-feeling elbow-length black v-neck shirt and a tighter fit of dark denim jeans, throwing on a thin dark brown leather jacket. I ran a hand through my brunette hair and walked out the door to sit in the living room to wait for Mikasa to get finished.

* * *

Arriving at the Legionnaire Bar, I parked the van that mikasa had to borrow to fit all her colleagues on the side of the road and was forced to do a parallel park. Mikasa screamed at me a few times because I almost hit the car behind me and I slightly nudged the car in front but honestly, who the fuck is ever good at parallel parking? And also to plead my case, people almost rarely have to do the damn thing. Well except now, but that's because this must be a busy street.

"Alright everybody out before people notice my horrible parking job." I said to all eight passengers and I got a few laughs, and others grimaced. Mikasa a bit of both and Annie just glared at me but I just shrugged, I really didn't have it in me to care. I wasn't lying either so there's that.

Walking in I really didn't give much thought to how boring these next few hours would be. As soon as we walked in, Mikasa and her friends or work people, whatever they are, went to some sort of back table and left me. Well, well, well, I see how it is. I guess I'll find my own little table to call home for the night I guess.

Before turning over to go find somewhere to spend the next few hours, I heard Mikasa yell over her shoulder, "Don't do anything stupid, Eren!" I just scowled at her in return. How many moronic things could I do when I'm just by myself? I shake my head at the little trust she placed in me.

Looking over the whole bar, I find a little haven in the corner at the actual bar and to my delight, it has a television right by it. Wonderful, just the way to pass the time. Trudging over, I take a seat at one of the stools and took my jacket off and hung it on the back of the chair.

Getting more comfortable in the seat and almost snuggling deeper in the dark leather, I look up to the TV almost above my head. It takes my vision a moment to get settled onto the picture since I am so close to it and I have to hold back a gurgled noise of distaste. Baseball. I fucking hate baseball. Stupid bats hitting the balls and keeping some sort of score. That's as far as my knowledge of the sport goes. About only twenty minutes pass and I find that I am bored out my mind already.

Now I'm forced to listen to baseball and _oh man are those peanuts on the counter calling my name?_

Looking around to make sure no one has their sights on the prism of peanuts like I do, I slowly bring the little jar of happiness to the front of my being. Yes, these peanuts are mine now.

I pop one in and chew the roasted, salted goodness. One turns into two,and two starts turning into seven. Damn these little bastards are good.

"... - I swear you need to cheer up! I didn't bring you here to be a snarky little shit the whole night. Loosen up." Came a female voice, and soon body preoccupying the seat next to me.

"Ugh, stop it. You're making me sick with all your nagging." Another person?! I look around and notice there are a mass amount of other seats available throughout the whole establishment and they just happen to choose the seat next to me? Oh c'mon man, what the hell!

To make matters worse as soon as this woman sat down, she reached her hand right in front my face only to lower it to take a handful of my peanuts that I was in a lonely heavenly bliss eating earlier. I feel a white fury well up in my chest which I can't help but feel a bit stupid reacting over because it's peanuts, but still, they were my peanuts! She stole my peanuts! I turn to send a shocked glare her way.

She doesn't see me and keeps waving her hands dramatically to tell a story to her friend. She doesn't notice my dwindling rage, but her friend that had an almost unnatural serious look on his face certainly does. My widened eyes narrow at this guy who was now looking at me with laughter in his icy gray eyes.

His snickering stare causes the woman with a high ponytail and glasses to turn to me with inquisitive, excited eyes.

"Oh, didn't see you there! Hi, I'm Hanji." This woman named Hanji beamed and sent a curdling grin my way.

Seriously? I'm a living, breathing human being - not even really in the corner seat of the bar and she didn't see me? I mean I know I'm not the most attractive of men out there, but this is just being harsh…

"Yeah." Thats the best she'll get out of me, rudeness be damned.

"Aren't you a shy one! How cute!" And thus commenced her patting on my back and I flinched from the sudden to get out of this unwanted touching, I send pleading looks to her friend and of course all he did was a slight shaking of his head and plastered a smirk on his face. Damn you, damn you to hell. It was wrong of me to put such faith in a complete stranger.

"Hanji, I think you've frightened the kid." The man sent blank eyes to this woman named Hanji and she let out several guffaws. The sounds made me twitch.

"I think I'll just… take my leave… yeah." I hop off the stool and go to grab my jacket but I'm stopped by the hyena. I turn around to send her a deer-caught-in-headlights stare until she lets go but she doesn't. Her manic grin doesn't even falter. What the hell does this woman want? First my peanuts, and then me? Oh hell no, I'm not in the mood to meet cannibals tonight.

"You can have the damn peanuts, okay! I'm sorry!" The best way out of this I figure is to express my dumbfounding stupidity in a surreal case of misunderstanding, and why not use the peanuts as an excuse to excuse myself. I try to pull away but she keeps a firm grip. Both her and her friend blink at what I said, straight-faced, and then the woman started her cringing laughter once more.

"Thats great. You know what? I think you and my friend Levi here would make excellent friends." She exclaimed. Her friend Levi? That smirk just melted instantly off of his face and he looked at her in disbelief and subtle anger.

"Don't lump me in with a moron who gets defensive over peanuts - "He tried to get out but this woman named Hanji interrupted him.

Moron who gets defensive over peanuts? Who the hell does he think he is, calling a stranger, me at that, a moron! Well, I know I'm not the smartest person out there, but I definitely would be considered a step above being senseless. Trying not to start anything for the night, I grit my teeth and get over it. For now. But this woman is still latching her death grip onto my arm.

"Just ignore him, come come. Sit back down. " I stare at her for a few seconds before making my decision. Her friend named Levi has stopped listening to her and is now talking to the bartender to probably order a drink.

I swallow loudly and sit back down, albeit hesitantly. I just need to calm down, Mikasa is in the near vicinity. Nothing is gonna happen, she'll recognize my screams if push comes to shove.

"So what's your name?" Hanji asked while ordering her drink.

As if I would actually tell her my real name, she has another thing coming.

"... Larry. " Inwardly grinning to myself for such a genius impromptu name. All the shoulder pats from scholars shall be rewarded to me. Looks like I'm officially apart of Mikasas social circle for once. As if. More like inwardly vomiting my insides out. The name is so lame that I have to hold myself back from slowly dragging my nails down my face.

Apparently Levi thought so too because he had a little comment of his own. "That's really unfortunate."

I should probably take a defensive stance over this fake name because if I agree, then my decision for giving them a fake name would have been for naught. "'The hell you say?! Making fun of my name?"

Levi obviously didn't care for offending me and just snorted, starting to drink his little fruity drink the bartender set in front of him.

"Well, _Larry_, it's nice to meet you." I have to hold back a cringe from her using the name. If they decide to stay here by me the whole night I wonder how long I can keep my annoyance down from the repetition.

"Likewise." Like hell it's nice to meet you.

I can't help but feel a bit sorry for myself because earlier I said that I would be somewhat like a social butterfly and here I am messing everything up, even telling people names that aren't even really mine. I can see the disappointed stares Mikasa would set upon me now.

"So you're at a bar, and yet you have no drink?" Hanji said with a hint of friendly surprisement. I turned over to glance at her and see her taking a large gulp of her… beer I think? It looks like beer, with its orangish-yellow tint and bubbles at the top in a tall mug. Levi was just flicking his little umbrella around in his drink. I find it hilarious that such a serious looking man has such a cute drink but I have a feeling that I probably shouldn't voice it or laugh out loud. I guess ill settle with keeping the giggles down by holding them in my throat and almost suffocate.

She's asking me why I have no drink? Well thats obviously because I'm only eighteen but if I tell them that that then they'll just call me a kid that should go home. Since they are obviously a bit older than me, I suppose I should try to come off as more friendly than a paranoid teenager that I actually am.

"Ha-ha." I scratch my neck awkwardly. "Just not in the drinking mood tonight I guess. Just came here to watch some good baseball. Ha-ha." Oh fuck me.

"You don't come off as a baseball fanatic." Yeah, yeah, nobody cares for your monotone snarks, Levi. If I step off my rolling anger-wheel towards this man I'd probably feel a bit bad from him calling me out on my blatant lie but honestly, all I'm concerned for at the moment is dissolving their view of me being 'stupid'. I would also like to know if they're out to kill me, 'cause you know there's always a chance of having a hugeass plot twist and they drag me out of here after being 'friendly'.

"That's what a lot of people say, actually." I let out a breathy laugh. Of course that's what everybody says because they all know I fucking hate the sport.

"I bet!" Hanji remarked loudly right by my ear and I force myself not to duck my head from the shrill, happy sound.

I guess the only way out of this is to start normal, civil conversation. Maybe under their weird exterior there's some redeeming qualities, no serial killer qualities I hope, that will at least make them a bit more tolerable and if I succeed by some chance maybe I could land myself some older friends. I say this but I really am no person to judge since I'm coming off as incredibly dense and creepy at the same time with a fetish for protecting my self proclaimed peanuts. Yeah, I've got no social talents. Probably why the only close friends I have are Armin and Jean.

"So, u-uh, what brings you here tonight?" This will have to do. Levi just glanced over as if he could care less that I just said something and Hanji starts bouncing right in the seat.

"Well, since you asked, it was such a long day at work, filing paperwork and what not, and this crabby man had nothing but negativity to emit so I dragged him in here to cool off." Hanji sent a grimace to Levi and leaned forward on her arms on the bar edge. Yeah, I can totally see him doing that too even though I've known him less than ten minutes.

"Tch, whatever." Levi said nonchalantly and took a drink of his alcoholic beverage. Angry all the time and could care less when people insult him, and a woman that is obviously overly ecstatic with everything, I can't help but be amazed the two opposites are friends.

"A-ah, I see… " I just barely murmured.

* * *

I can't remember how long I just sat there staring off into space, drowning out Hanji and Levi's bickering. I caved in and started to buy lemonade, water, and coke at times. Occasionally when I was especially zoned out, I would suddenly catch Levi's eye and Hanji would turn to ask random questions, all of which I pretty much just replied "Yeah" too.

"Wow, this beer is running right through me. I'll be right back. Don't steal my best friend while I'm gone, Larry!" I cringed as she hops off the stool and rushes to what I would assume would be the bathroom. This is going to be more awkward of an encounter than I thought - she left me to deal with her friend that was as nonsocial as me. In this case I would say nonsocial as a choice instead of being birthed with the unfortunate ability to not talk smoothly as I have. I swallow what little saliva I have left in my mouth.

I slowly look over to the man two seats over to try to look for something to break this damnable silence, as reluctant as I am to do it (it's painful like listening to nails dragging themselves down a chalkboard). I'm finally able to see what he looks like since the woman was in the way earlier.

If I'm being honest to myself, this guy is attractive to the point of being almost beautiful. His black hair styled neatly in an undercut looks absolutely silky and his small build suits him well. If I'm being even more honest to myself, I'd also say that that black dress shirt that's in no way loose around his torso suits him a little too well.

I shake myself out of my staring and feel a heat burn my cheeks. Oh my god, I was literally just checking this asshole out, what's wrong with me? Going against my bodily reactions and my thought process that's going out of whack at the moment, I hesitantly look back over to Levi and find him looking back at me.

"You look like you have to take a shit, why don't you go take care of that and better yet, join the crazy woman while you're at it." Levi said with a straight face and I just gaped at him like a fish.

Screw being weirdly attracted to this overly blunt douchebag. Mikasa and Armin have always told me I was quick to blow my fuse - and I end up slamming my hands down on the bar counter top and turn to him with angry eyes in a show of uncalled-for tenacity.

"You know what, fuck it - just screw off. You're friend is weird but she's at least tolerable! Go take your serial killer tendencies elsewhere and get out of my corner!" I have to admit though, I wasn't planning on saying the last part. Way to go with not trying to sound childish.

Obviously meant to be somewhat menacing, but just made Levi raise his brows in a display of slight surprise. He turned his face into his hand and let out a quiet laugh. So now he's laughing? I let out an aggravated gust of air. Trying not to get worked up anymore than I am, I turned to my forgotten peanuts and grab a few to pop into my mouth and chew, attempting to soothe my hotheadedness.

"What's the matter, _Larry?_ Something get under your skin?" Levi said with a smirk on his face and leaned against his hands, elbows set on the edge of the bar. Fight against the rage, Eren. You can do this. Breathe. In and out. Yeah, not working. I shove another handful of peanuts into my mouth. This man must live for making human beings feel unwanted anger.

Electing to ignore him, I turn my line of sight to Mikasa on the other side of the bar laughing with her friends. How long have we even been here for? I turn to look at the clock and see that only an hour, maybe hour and a half, has passed. Damn, I have no idea what time she wants us to leave but I really hope it's soon.

Wait, why don't I just go sit somewhere else? I'm an idiot for not thinking of this sooner!

"I really can't put up with you anymore. Bye." I hurriedly hopped down from the stool and grabbed my jacket on the back of the chair. Throwing one last loaded look back to Levi, I seen he was looking back with a sneer on his face, leaning back against his chair. Goddamn this smug bastard, I can't take this anymore. As soon as I turn to leave, Hanji comes back.

"Ah, Larry! - Levi! What did you do?! Why is our new friend leaving?" Followed with "Why do you always assume it's me?" and one last annoyed "Because when isn't it you?"

Since I can't find it in me to care anymore or listen, I just head on over to Mikasa and her friends and take a seat, eliciting startled looks.

"Please don't ask."


	2. Chapter 2

**_A/N: I hope you all enjoy! Tytyty so much for all the views, follows, reviews and favorites! _**

* * *

"Eren! Get your ass over here!" Came an unfortunately loud voice from my left. Glancing over, I see a stampeding horse make its way over to me. What does the idiot want with me today? I just shrug and put my headphones back in, continuing with my damn good doodling on my classwork if I do say so myself. If you look closely at all the details, I definitely added the right amount of stardust to Sailor Moons uni -

And Jean ripped my headphones out.

"Don't ignore me!" Jean screamed in my face while I just gawk at his audacity to actually - very painfully - rip my headphones out. He better be saying prayers on his family right about now because if he doesn't step back hes getting a bitch slap right to the face, friend or not.

"What the hell do you want?! Was that really necessary, you jackass?" I said to him venomously and scowled. It's always like this between us, whether I actually enjoy it or not. We call ourselves friends, sometimes Armin's throwing the big words out there and adds 'best' but i'd really rather beg to differ.

"Eren Jaeger! Watch your language!" The teacher Mr. Franz yelled from his desk at the front of the classroom. Really? Jean yelled across the room from his seat all the way at the door and he yells at me? Jean just laughed at me and I'm really thinking on acting upon that earlier bitch slap.

"Yeah, yeah. Won't happen again, Franz." I waved my hands at the teacher and watched him become flabbergasted at my lack of formalities. Wouldn't be the first time, so I don't see why he keeps trying to get on my case and be surprised about it. I also really want to see the day where he yells at Jean for once because it really pisses me off that it's just me all the time.

"Well if you wouldn't have had your stupid music on, then you would know. I've been trying to get your attention for five minutes now."

"Hey! Rammstein is not stupid, take it back or else I'm kicking you in the face. And also, I have more important things to do then to listen to you." I put my headphones back in and start to shade in those little pins at the top of each bun on Sailor Moons head.

Jean rips the headphones out again.

"Are you seriously drawing Sailor Moon?" Jean took my notebook from me and started laughing hysterically. I just kinda have to stare at him for a little bit before I realize what exactly he just did.

Jean took my doodle. Ripped my headphones out for the second time. Now he's holding up said doodle that I couldn't have given two shits about but now I do because I don't want the whole class thinking I'm_ that_ guy in class. Feeling anger start to prick at my fingertips, I storm up out of my seat and nudge Jean harshly in the shoulder.

"Don't start with me today, Jean." I said laced with hostility.

"Or what? Are you gonna punish me in the name of the moon?"

I heard a few spaced out snickers throughout the classroom. Funny how I was just the one doodling, just doodling a fucking picture of Sailor Moon because I couldn't think of anything else to mess my classwork up with, and Jean is the one who quotes it and no one batted an eye at it.

Everyone in the class just casually glanced up at the disruption because this was pretty much almost a weekly type of argument, except it being about something different but equally as stupid each time.

"That's so gay!" Jean neighed and did that 'wow thats really too big of a grin to fit your face' type of grin.

I really have to roll my eyes at this one."Like you're one to talk, Jean. I would say to shove the insult up your ass but you'd probably enjoy it."

Jean started to flare his nostrils and I swear he probably would have started kicking his foot against the flooring of the classroom as if he had hooves and was getting ready to charge. When I was getting ready to sit back down he grabbed the collar of my T-shirt and held me right by his face.

"I'm tired of your shit, Eren!"

"I could say the same thing, horseface!" I lift my hands and forcefully pull his hands away from my collar. Oh wonderful, he's stretched it out. Mikasa is going to wonder what happened and glare at me the rest of the day until I make up something to get her off my case, thanks a lot Jean.

"Both of you sit down and get back to work!" We both look over and see Mr. Franz getting red in the face with anger.

"What I was going to say, was to come over to my desk so we can work on the assignment together but nevermind." Jean huffed and went back to his desk, clumping his way there. I sit back down and put my headphones back in. Jean is ridiculous sometimes, I swear. It's like he physically goes out of his way to start some type of argument with me and reverts back as if nothing just happened afterwards.

Deciding on actually finishing my assignment, I pick up my pencil and start looking for the next question on the sheet.

_What does Macbeth start to hallucinate before he proceeds with killing King Duncan?_

That's easy, I've totally got this. Mr. Franz thinks it's absolutely necessary to go over each paragraph of Shakespeare so we "understand it as a whole and really appreciate fine literature for all that it is worth". Repeating it once, yeah I can understand that. But three times just drives me up the wall, granted I do end up remembering most of the story that way.

I go to write my answer on my notebook page and I realize it is nowhere to be seen on my desk. Jean took my notebook. That crafty son of bitch - should I walk over to his desk or should I just sit here for the rest of the period? The latter option is sounding pretty good right about now but I really would be deemed a lazy ass if I knew all the answers yet procrastinated because I didn't want to get up and walk a few steps over to his desk. I squint my eyes as I contemplate.

Letting out a grunt, I decide to get up. I lean down to grab my backpack and sling it over one shoulder, grabbing the books sitting on my desk and head over to Jean. I flomp down on the seat directly behind him and hit him in the back of the head with my English Literature book. It's a huge, heavy ass book so no doubt it hurt and it was practically music from a muse when I heard the big sound it made colliding with his head. Good, I hope it hurt.

"Ow!" He started to rub the back of his head roughly and I snickered.

"What was that for!" He turned around and beady, teary eyes stared at me. I shrugged and turned to the page for Macbeth in the literature book. I heard Jean growl and he turned around to better face me, straddling the back of the chair and slapping my notebook on the clear space of my desk. After a few moments of both of us flipping through pages for the answers for the assignment, he spoke.

"I can't believe we actually have to continue doing assignments on this book. We finished it last week." Jean complained while tapping on my class book.

"Yeah, Franz is like that. Don't you remember when we read Julius Ceasar? It was worse than this. This class is only hell when we do Shakespeare, can't believe you haven't caught on yet." I said, finishing the rest of the question sheet.

"Shut up, of course I have. So, are you coming with me and Armin later?" Jean asked and I had to look up. Coming with them? Since when? I shook my head.

"Not that I've heard. Armin hasn't said anything."

"He was probably too busy this morning to tell you, but we're going to that new café in town. Looks pretty good." He said. Thinking back to it, I faintly remember Armin being rather distracted this morning while walking to school. He was probably thinking about all of his projects he has to turn in next week. Oh my little overachiever, bless his soul.

"Are you inviting me? Or are you just recommending said café?"

"Inviting you, dipshit."

"I'd love to go but Mikasa wanted me to go to the store to pick up some things for her before she got home."

"That's okay we'll go with you, Armin really wants you to go. People around town have been saying they have great German chocolate cake." Jean said while picking up his pencil to start scribbling down some more answers.

Did he just say German, _German_ chocolate cake? He knows that cake is my weakness, and so is chocolate and to top all of it off it's a recipe from Germany? This news is just getting better and better by the moment.

I leaned forward on my palms and narrowed my eyes at the horse."If you guys don't mind to wait."

"Yeah we mind but if I went ahead and left you, Armin would behead me."

"I'd like to see that happen."

"Which one? Me leaving you or Armin beheading me?"

"If Carol has thirty one apples in her bag, what color did she paint her house on tuesday?"

Jean just looked up to me with his mouth quirked to the side, as if he were seriously trying to think of the answer. "Uh, what? Did I miss something? That doesn't make sense."

Amazing, he really is a dolt. Not like this is any new news; I've been stuck with him since elementary school.

"Now you know how I felt listening to you ask a stupid question." I lean back in my chair and fiddle with the cover of the literature book. This class really is too long.

Jean leaned over my desk and smacked me upside the head. I flinch and instantly grab his hand, twisting it all the way around until I hear a satisfying cracking noise. I have successfully, and probably quite painfully, popped the annoying horse's wrist.

"Ow ow ow! Stop it, you fuckw-" Jean yelped and tried to pry my fingers off but it was to no avail - I kept a steady grip and all was futile. I just smirked at his pained expression.

"Jean Kirstein!"

Yes, yes - my plan is working, Jean has finally been recognized as the big asshole he is and is now currently being yelled at the teacher. Today was turning out to be a good day, I would even say that I'm happy the class is as long as it is because I wouldn't have had a chance to-

"Eren Jaeger, go outside to the hallway." Mr. Franz yelled and I just snap my head back to stare at him in horrified shock.

"It wasn't even me this time!" I tried to defend but Franz just shook his head and pointed to the door.

"Get your hand off of Jean and get out. Now."

I drop Jean's wrist roughly, he yelped again, and I get up clumsily from my seat, grabbing my books and backpack since it was almost time for school to let out anyway. I amble over to the heavy door and quickly let myself out.

I throw all of my class materials down to the floor and sit down, crossing my legs over each other as I rest my back against the hallway wall. Sure it was a hazard for tripping unfortunate bodies passing by, but I could care less.

* * *

The bell for school to let out finally rang and I got up, stretching my arms high up over my head and relished in the small popping sounds. I must have been sitting against that wall for over twenty minutes.

I leaned down to pick up my things and felt a poke on my back from within the passing students. I turned around to see a grinning Jean and I just lowered my lids and grunted. His face was the face I least wanted to see. I started to walk off to the nearest staircase to get out of the hellhole of a school I attend and I hear Jean run in swift steps directly behind me.

"Don't ignore me, Eren. We have to go meet up with Armin."

"I'll go with you only because Armin is my friend and I don't want him being stuck with an idiot like you all day."

"Funny. Let's just go."

I gestured to the space in front of me. "Lead the way."

I followed Jean out to the courtyard of the school and found that he was literally just leading me to his car where Armin was rustling through his bag on the hood. He could have just told me this is where he was going instead of forcing me to walk beside him the whole time. I squint my eyes at his grinning face. I can already tell I'm close to eighty percent of not dealing with his shit today. He better watch out when he fills the other twenty.**  
**

"Armin, please do something with your boyfriend or else I'm going to throw him in front of a moving car."

"Those are homicidal maniac tendencies, Eren. I'd get that checked out-"

I just flung my hand out and covered Jean's face with my whole palm. "Nobody asked you."

Jean didn't know what to do with himself from the sudden touching so he started to squirm and after a few moments of pathetic movements, he grabbed my hand and ripped it off. Took him long enough to figure out where my hand was. I laughed but immediately stopped when Armin sent a vicious look our way.

"Will you guys ever just be quiet? I'm looking for something."

"Look what you did Jean, you've annoyed my best friend. Better be watching your back when near the roads."

"Shut up, Eren." Jean scowled and went up to Armin, slinging an arm around his shoulder.

I followed in close pursuit but stood awkwardly on the other side of Armin, looking over his shoulder.

"What are you even looking for, anyways?"

"My calculus assignment. It was due last period and I couldn't find it anywhere!" Armin almost started crying by how resonant that crack in his voice was. I honestly felt bad for him, although I don't really understand why since it was just homework. But then again, we have two very, _very_ different views on that topic.

"I blame Jean." I deadpanned. I seen Jean look over and grimace at me in my peripheral vision.

"Please stop joking for once Eren, this is serious." Armin replied hysterically.

"Honestly, I say check Jean's car-"

"Oh shut it, Eren."

"I'm just saying-"

"I know, but stop." Jean stated in a demanding tone.

"Fine, fine. No need to get your panties in a twist." I lift my hands up and step away from the difficult couple. I walk over to the back seat door of the car and hop in, dismissing my presence since they couldn't care less otherwise at the moment if I was there.

After sitting in the direct sunlight shining through the windshield on my side of the door, sweating profusely and feeling my shirt stick to my armpit, they finally decided to give their search up through Armin's bags and headed into the car.

The car rocked as they got in, immediately starting the car and turning the air conditioning on. Oh thank god, I thought I was going to die.

Making sure no one was looking, I wipe my forehead with the jacket that was in my backpack and clean up all the sweat that started to form on my face.

"Ah! I found it! It really was in here." Armin squealed and held up his glorified paper.

I stick my head out above the console and creep between the two awestruck men in the front seats of the car. Damn, I really am good - I was just going on a guess earlier since Jean keeps all of his shit holed up in his car, never to be seen again. That's where I found a pair of my missing halloween socks a couple weeks back that I lost last year. Of course Jean made a comment about how "that's why my car has stunk!" I tried to tell him that it wasn't my fucking socks that did it and described in detail that it was from rotting tomatoes from an old burger from Mcdonalds that he threw in the backseat.

"Would you look at that, and you two didn't even listen to me." I said with a mock betrayal.

"I'm sorry, Eren. It's just usually you… you know-"

I waved him off. "Yeah, yeah it's fine. I'm used to it."

I'm used to always being overlooked when it comes to things like this and I'm always being nagged to shut my opinions up while I'm at it but I know Armin is sincere when he says he's sorry. If Jean says he's sorry too then I'm probably going to shit my pants from the pure shock of it all.

Jean just turned back around in his seat and put his seat belt on, backing out of the parking lot. Yeah, I shouldn't have expected anything less than that.

I lean back into the soft leather of my seat and buckle up before Jean starts to complain about it.

"Where did you have to go for your supplies again, Eren?" I glanced over and met Jean's eyes in the mirror.

"I'll just go to the corner store by that cafe you guys want to go to so we don't have to drive all across town."

"Good idea." Armin beamed from the front and I smiled back at him.

"Kiss ass…" Jean mumbled from the drivers' seat, soon receiving a hard jab to the shoulder that surely would bruise for a week.

* * *

"Did you guys need anything? I asked while we were walking in the parking lot of the store.

"No we don't, I don't think…" Armin replied unsurely. I glanced back to him checking his wallet, probably counting his money.

"You guys don't have to follow me in then, I'll be back out in a second."

"We're going in anyway, Armin was the one who wanted to show you the cafe anyways." Jean stated, handing Armin ten dollars.

I just watched Armin and Jean argue about how "oh I don't need this Jean!" and "yes, you do. Please take it." and "I couldn't do that!"

I roll my eyes.

"If Armin doesn't want it, there's always another person in your proximity that wants it. Just throwing that out there in case-"

"I'm not giving you my fucking money." Jean shoved the ten in Armin's wallet and quickly closed it, ending all discussions over the matter.

"Way to go with assuming things, horseface. I never said it was me." I huff and speed up my walking, if they want to follow me in here good for them but they better not start talking to me, getting me all distracted and forgetting to buy something important.

Walking through the sliding doors, the first thing I was hit in the face with was an icy blast of air. Even though it's abnormally hot outside for a spring day, was the fully blasting air conditioning on the coldest temperature really necessary? Sure, it provided quick relief from the sweltering air outside but after a few more seconds of standing in the store I feel my fingers going numb. I would love to go find the manager and ask why, _why_ he would put the temperature on eternal winter but I'm really feeling that chocolate cake right about now, so I shove my hands in my jean pockets to pull out the shopping list Mikasa made and deal with it. I'm ready to get this over with.

I open up the small folded paper and read over what's written in Mikasa's tiny handwriting. My squinting eyes widened as I read over the item. Just one item.

Mikasa fucking hates me, she has to in order to force me into doing this. No wonder she seemed like she was writing a long list earlier this morning before she ripped the paper out of the notebook, "seeming" like it was normal things. Well, for her I guess this is normal, but for me it's not. It's definitely not.

I feel beads of sweat form on my forehead and it suddenly doesn't seem to cold around me.

What if people get the wrong idea? Wait wait wait, how will they get the wrong idea? Why am I getting so paranoid?

What if old women think I'm some creep, and worse, what if an old man walks by and winks at me, then nodding and continuing on their way with a proud look on their face? I wouldn't be able to live with myself if that happens.

Okay, think - calm down, Eren. It's fine, there weren't even a lot of cars outside so I shouldn't be freaking out like this.

I know I just need to get this over with, let it be done with but I can't help the slithering feeling of awkwardness dripping down my spine.

I quickly pick up my pace for the hygiene aisle before Jean has enough time to notice the look on my face and takes the paper from my hands and laughs at me from two aisles down. He's done it before so I know for a fact that it's what he would do.

I walk past several aisles and peek around the corner to the hygiene section - I'm relieved that there's literally just one other person in the aisle, thankfully bent over preoccupied with receiving their own item.

There's a spring to my step with this new fact and I make my way down the aisle, looking for the item I need.

What I need is right in front of this dude bent over and I don't want to get in his way while he's doing his own thing but I really just want to get this over with while there's only one person here. I'm praying to any god out there that no old people pass.

I guess I could just get too uncomfortably close to him, grab it, and then haul ass out of here. Yeah that sounds good, I'm going to go with that.

I fling my hand out and grab the box of tampons, but not before the man below suddenly raised up and I lost my grip on the damned female product. It seems I'm not the only one who lost what they were holding too.

"Sorry about that…" The man started to say but faded off once he turned to look at me. As we made eye contact, I recognize him from somewhere but I can't quite place it.

"Oh Larry, it's just you. "

Son of a bitch, it's that irritating guy from the bar! To make matters worse, he definitely remembers me - I really don't want to deal with this man right now but it seems like I have no choice seeing as how he just literally rammed into my arms while getting up from his squat.

I just grunt in response and go to pick up Mikasa's shit. It seems like Levi had the same idea and he crouched down to grab his item as well.

I went for the closest item near my feet, snatched it up, got up and turned on my heel ready to leave.

"Not that I care or anything, but I'd really like my box back." Levi called from behind me.

His box? I look down and flipped the box over in my hands, eyeing the product.

I feel my palms start to get sweaty and I count a few heartbeats as I stare at it. I just picked up his box of condoms labeled "large" and almost walked away with it. I don't even want to see this guys' face as he realized what he was holding as well. He's going to laugh, he's going to smirk. He's going to be one of those old men.

I turn back around and send wide - deer caught in the headlight - eyes to him. He's looking at me with a smirk on his face, holding the tampon box in one hand in the air while his other hand holds his elbow. Pretty much saying 'look what I have, now give me mine back'.

That damn smile will be the death of me.

I can start to hear my blood pulse through my drums and I'm not sure if its anger, or extreme embarrassment but something deep within me is saying that it's probably both; seeing as how I feel my heart quicken like it does when I'm about to lose my shit but I also feel a warm sensation take place on my ears. I won't give in to the embarrassment, I'll just run on my anger.

I jog up to him, careful not to trip over my shoes like I do sometimes when my head isn't exactly clear, and shove the box to his chest. He wasn't expecting that so it just falls to his feet and he just glances down and back up as if it wasn't nothing to worry about.

"T-there now just give me my stuff." I hold my shaking hand out to him, signaling for him to give me the box.

"Pick my shit up first, then I will." He sneered lowly, narrowing his eyes.

I growl at him but bend over to pick it up anyways. I hate this because when I'm flustered it's like my mind goes into overdrive and I start thinking of unnecessary things. When I pick up the condoms, I can't help but have to reach my hand by his crotch and I find it hard not to glance at it and _oh god stop stop stop-_

I close my eyes, grab the condoms, and raise back up.

I hold the box out to him. "Here! Now give me my crap."

"That wasn't so hard now was it, Larry?" He does that arrogant smirk once more and I cringe. That name still hits me hard.

He hands me the tampons which I snatch up right away and he does the same to his box except much more calmer and gentler.

I was about to lash out on him but I remembered that the last time we met, I claimed to be much older than I actually was. And now, thinking back to it, why did I make such a stupid decision? I hold myself back from shoving my hands in my hair.

I force a smile on my face. "Not at all… Levi."

He snorted at me being nice and I can't help but be shocked. I was trying to be civil about all of this and he just ignored me! He's just as bad as last time - well at least he's not commenting on the tampons.

"Tampons, huh? I never would have guessed that you like baseball and helping your girlfriend in need." He laughed and put his box in his carryable shopping cart.

Why do I always speak so soon?

That is just exactly what I needed - he also remembers the baseball part. Why does he have such a good memory anyway? I can barely remember what he was even wearing, let alone his face! Well, maybe that last part was a lie because it is kind of hard to forget someone that attractive - but that's not important now. I shake my head just a little bit and bite down on my tongue to try and calm myself of my hot pumping blood.

"Funny, I would have guessed that nobody could stand you enough to hold a conversation, let alone have sex with you."

I never have and probably will never learn to have any control over my temper and that will be my demise, no doubt. And I may have went a bit far this time as well because I seen his eye twitch. I swallow and try to hold onto my pride and keep my ground.

"I don't have time for childs play. I hope we don't run into each other if there's a next time." Levi glared and turned around, on his way to exit the aisle.

"You say that but you're the one who_ literally_ bumped into me!" I yell angrily at his retreating back. He ignored me and kept walking until I could no longer see his back.

I inwardly groan and smack my forehead. I don't understand why I had to run into him of all people; I would have had a better chance to run into Mr. Franz than that smug bastard!

I clench my jaw and tightly furl my hands until my fingernails start piercing through my palm. I start to feel liquid slightly on my fingers and look down to see that I had drawn blood, also denting the tampon box as well. Mikasa will have to deal with that because I don't feel like getting a new box.

Stomping my way down the aisle on the opposite end from where Levi exited, all I can think is that the chocolate cake better be exceptional or else a poor worker is going to have it.


End file.
